We are warriors

13 April 2020 - appeared on Facebook on The ME CFS Foundation South Africa's page. I am copying it now to my blog.

"PART 2 - Dear fellow chronic illness friends and other friends of The ME CFS Foundation South Africa. (Eventually I will be doing a blog, however, in the meantime I am writing on our Foundation page. Last time I wrote about having ME vs cancer, the stigma, sympathy, etc.)

The Corona virus has forced me to widen my topics.

Today, I am reflecting on a topic recently discussed, mostly on Twitter.

You are a FIGHTER when you "win" cancer, hang in with ME/FM/MCS/Chronic Pain/MS and/or recover from Covid-19. Many posts expressed anger towards this viewpoint and raised the question "what about those who die from cancer, ME, Covid-19, etc." Are they weak? It is said they have "lost the fight".

We call ourselves WARRIORS and I think there is nothing wrong with that term. For me it means doing your best, continue living with pain, extreme exhaustion, brain fog, and so many other almost (often) unbearable symptoms. I believe it means following sound medical advice - if available. In the case of cancer it generally means having chemotherapy and or radiation, knowing you will feel very ill, but you still go for the treatment. Trying your best to see the treatment as your best friend and not your enemy, i.e. embrace it.

In my view being a warrior implies accepting your illness and still trying to see the beauty in the world, helping others where you can, when they have bad days and ALSO ask for help when you have a bad day or feel your body can't take anymore...Surround yourself with a support structure..

However, many factors determine whether someone will survive or recover from an illness. I am not bringing religion into this discussion....... The right diagnosis, genetics, immunity, access to the right medical care, support, finances to continue with treatment, availability of successful treatments for an illness, maybe some luck as well, etc.

Thus although we refer to ourselves as ME/FM/Chronic Pain/MCS/MCAS, and other chronic illnesses warriors it is not a fair fight! The illness chose us, we didn't ask for it. We start with a disposition at best and with some luck we find something which works for us, maybe for a while, maybe for a long time.

BUT, if the illness takes over, even kills you, it is not because you didn't "fight" enough or gave up. It is what illnesses do and then there are the above mentioned factors which can either work in your favour or against you.

Never think less of yourself when you struggle to cope or the worst happens, you are still a WARRIOR.

Love

Retha Viviers